


About the Bones and the Spears

by orphan_account



Series: Seasons in the Sun [1]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Big Brother Sans, Gen, Gender-Neutral Frisk, Having the talk, Monsters trying to raise a human, Oblivious Papyrus, wierd sex metaphores
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-29
Updated: 2016-02-29
Packaged: 2018-05-23 23:32:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,391
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6133901
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Frisk wants to know where babies come from and their monster family fumbles to have a satisfactory answer.</p>
            </blockquote>





	About the Bones and the Spears

**Author's Note:**

> This was in answer to a prompt.

“WH-WHAT DO YOU MEAN “WHERE DO BABIES COME FROM?” 

Papyrus looked like he rather be anywhere except where he was right now. Judging by the way his head darted around, he was probably looking for the nearest escape route. Good thing the kitchen has no windows.

Frisk calmly signed their question again, knowing full well the skeleton understood sign language.

Knowing he couldn't get out of this one, Papyrus abandoned his pot of spaghetti, which already looked barely eatable as it was, and instead focused on the question.

“WELL, TINY HUMAN.” He said, bending down to lay one gloved hand on Frisk's shoulder. “WHEN A MOMMY AND A DADDY LOVE EACHOTHER VERY MUCH, THEY MAKE A BABY BONES.”

Frisk just kept looking at him expectantly, obviously they expected more.

“YOU WANT TO KNOW HOW?” Papyrus deduced, making the child nod their head.

“OH, WELL... THEY... EUH.” The monster stuttered, looking utterly confused. He was raking his brain for the wanted information, but found none.

The cooking pot behind him caught on fire, but was ignored.

Frisk concluded. 

Papyrus stood back up and put his hands at his hips, smiling his usual grin, his cape-scarf blowing in a non-existent breeze as he did so. “DO NOT FRET, HUMAN. THE GREAT PAPYRUS KNOWS MANY THINGS, BUT NOT ALL. LUCKILY, I KNOW WHO DOES. MY BROTHER IS-”

Whatever Sans was or wasn't would have to wait as the front door was practically kicked of its hinges. 

“Hey nerds!” Undyne stormed in and immediately entered the kitchen, probably because of the intense smell of burning food. The air flow she provided luckily put out afore mentioned kitchen fire.

“UNDYNE?!” Papyrus sounded happy and confused at the same time. “WHEN DID SANS GIVE YOU A KEY?”

“He didn't.” The warrior simply said, as if that was all the explanation needed. “You should have told me you were cooking, I would have come over sooner.” She went on, bending over the stove and observing the blackened mess. 

“Looks good.” She commented, making Papyrus beam, and Frisk knew from experience that the fish monster actually meant it.

They went up to Undyne and pulled on the hem of her black tank-top to get her attention. When they did, Frisk signed their question a third time, but Undyne looked confused.

Since coming to the surface all monsters of their little adopted family were practicing sign language, after learning it was Frisk's preferred method of communication. Undyne had some problem on the uptake though, not having enough patience for this kind of thing, but was greatly improving now that she was getting private lessons from Alphys.

“You want to know where what comes from?” She questioned. 

“BABYBONES.” Papyrus helpfully translated. 

Undyne frowned down at them. “Aren't you a bit young to ask those questions, squirt.” She joked.

Frisk huffed and crossed their arms, they had turned 10 recently, thank you very much.

“I WANT TO KNOW TOO!” Papyrus seemed excited to learn something new also.

“Wait, you don't-” Undyne interrupted herself. “Of course. Well, let's see.” She looked thoughtful for a moment, thinking how to put this issue without permanently scarring either of these cinnamon buns their innocence.

“So when 2 people love each other very much, they may want to make a baby to celebrate it.” She began. 

“WE ALREADY GOT THAT FAR. WE NEED TO KNOW HOW!” 

“Shut up and let me finish, dork.” She cuffed Papyrus over the head, making a resounding thump on the hollow of his skull.  
Frisk swallowed a giggle.

“To do this the daddy gets a spear.” She summoned the mentioned weapon in her hand, glowing a faint blue. “And they put it inside the mother.” 

“WOULDN'T THAT HURT?” Papyrus questioned sincerely, looking more confused than before.  
Frisk likewise looked unconvinced.

“Well, euh...” Undyne hesitated for a moment. “It's not a real spear, it's a magical one.”

Frisk signed, pouting. They had met the buissness end of Undyne's weapon more than they cared to mention, more than either of the 2 present monsters knew anyway.

Apparently Undyne did understand the sign language this time, because she shook her head. “It's a different kind of magic.”

“WHICH KIND?” Papyrus asked, just as Frisk was signing the same question.

“Are you 2 going to let me finish or what?” She pointed the weapon at her audience in turn, effectively shutting them up. 

“The spear leaves a little seed inside the mother. The seed grows until it becomes a baby, and than it comes out.” She was sounding kind of awkward by now.

Frisk had raised both their eyebrows and Papyrus was frowning, in so far as a skeleton can frown anyway.  
“DOES THIS MEAN WE WERE ALL PLANTS ONCE?” He asked after a second.

Undyne face-palmed. “Not a literal seed, you bonehead.” exasperation tinged her voice.

Frisk clapped their hands to get the attention from the 2 monsters. they signed.

“I don't know, more magic?” Undyne sounded like she rather be anywhere but here, much like Papyrus had before. There still were no windows though.

“MAYBE WE SHOULD ASK SANS AFTER ALL.” Papyrus made towards the stairs, Frisk quick to follow. “MY BROTHER IS VERY SMART. I AM SURE HE KNOWS.” 

They went to the elder skelebro's room and knocked on the door. There was silence for a moment before they heard shuffling and Sans opened the door. Evidently the smaller skeleton had been still in bed. (It was only 11 AM after all)

“SANS.” Papyrus practically yelled, which was his regular voice. “THE TINY HUMAN AND ME HAVE COME BECAUSE WE WANT TO KNOW WHERE BABY BONES COME FROM.”

Sans didn't immediately react to the revelation. His first thought was that he had misunderstood the question. His second though was that he should close the door and deal with this later.

Knowing both Papyrus and Frisk were not the kind of people to be ignored, however, he just sighed. “Give me a second.”

He went to put on his slippers and jacket, than came out of the room and headed downstairs, Frisk and his younger brother bounding after him.

Sans had been expecting this question for a long time, but somehow Papyrus had never come around to asking it, much busier with more important things like puzzles and spaghetti.

He had kind of hoped he could skip the whole explanation thing entirely, but it was not meant to be.

When they had come downstairs, Frisk and Papyrus seated themselves on the couch, Undyne was already sitting there, not bothering to follow them upstairs. 

“When parents want a baby, they will expand the magic in their souls, allowing it to intermingle. Upon doing this, they can create a new soul, a child. The soul needs some time to grow, which it does in the mothers belly. After some time, the magic in the new soul is stable enough to survive and that's when the child is born, after the mom pushes it out.”

It was a rehearsed speech, evident by the fact there wasn't a single pun in sight, which is an extremely rare occurrence when talking to Sans. He seemed relieved to have it be over with, though.

The audience was silent for a moment, mulling over this answer. 

“WHAT ABOUT HUMANS?” Papyrus suddenly asked. 

“What about them bro?”

Papyrus was about to explain, but Undyne had already caught on and jumped up, standing on the coach still brandishing her spear.

“Pap is right! What about humans? They don't have magic, how do they make babies?” 

Sans opened his mouth to answer but quickly shut it as he realized he had none.

Instead he shrugged. “Tibia honest, I don't know. I'm not an expert on humans. You should ask Tori or Alphys.” 

As if summoned by his words, Toriel choose this exact moment to knock on their door, which promptly opened itself, seeing as Undyne had broke it's lock earlier.

Frisk immediately shot of the coach to greet their adoptive mom, excitingly signing about their new knowledge.

Papyrus scoffed at his brother's lame attempt at a pun. “YOU USED THAT ONE A MILLION TIMES BEFORE.” 

“But it's still humerus.” 

Any retort Papyrus might have had to that was drowned out by Toriel giving a loud gasp.  
“They told you what?!” 

“Welp, I'm going to Grillby's.” And Sans promptly took a shortcut out of there.

**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to send more Undertale Prompts my way (I write literally anything) on here or on my tumblr: https://www.tumblr.com/blog/sharada-n


End file.
